TDAH et développement des habitudesdecember 30, 2019
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You have ADD/ADHD, but you successfully changed/developed long-term habits. You became someone who exercises regularly, maintains a relatively tidy home, meditates, etc to the point that these things no longer require a significant mental effort. Please tell me how.
At the moment, I’m kind of overwhelmed and tired of living with myself. With 2020 coming I initially was looking forward to making resolutions – as I always do – and then I thought about all of my attempts to make significant long-term changes in my life, and the fact that almost all of them have failed.
* difficulty changing gears
* difficulty creating much-needed structure at home (at work, with an externally exposed structure, I do much better)
* difficulty maintaining a sense of priority (.e.g, I might decide that I really need to work on exercising regularly and stick with it for a week or so. But within a few weeks either I’m depressed and nothing seems to matter at all, or my sense of what matters has changed. I know the facts about the importance of exercise, but something else *feels* much more important for now).
* the prior is also an issue for therapy. whatever I want to work on one week, the next visit I’ve moved on to something else entirely.
What’s helped in the past:
* Structural changes – For instance, setting up a savings account (or CD) that’s easy to deposit to and hard to withdraw from. Automatic bill pay. Timed internet blockers.
* Therapy, to some degree
* Meds. They aren’t currently helping, but they’ve helped in the past. I plan to see someone about that soon.
* Classes – ongoing classes are harder – like walking into a yoga class where other students already know each other and have been doing it for a while – than time-limited classes, where I start with other beginners, we form bonds, and learn to do the thing together. Of course this only works for the length of the class.
* Buddy system – having someone who’s counting on me to show up for a walk, for example.
* Hiring a cleaner – this means I feel compelled to tidy up before she comes, even if it’s a wreck the rest of the time.
* Timers/reminders – they help for a while, then they don’t.
* Not being depressed is really helpful.
Structural changes/barriers are probably the most reliable. But for now the only way I can think of using them is with internet blockers. I don’t know how I can use this notion for something like walking 10,000 steps per day, meditating regularly, reading more or doing the dishes on a daily basis.
I’ve tried a lot of strategies. I’m really tired and frustrated. If you’ve been here and gotten better, I’d love to know how.