Pas de griffes par soucioktober 19, 2019
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oh; the temporary superpowers thing. Yeah — fun for a while. Then you realize far less fun is the massive jaw pain from clenching and grinding and you’d really like your rib cage back instead of the birdcage full of fluttering sparrows it’s been swapped for. The people you interact with might appreciate you putting spaces between your words again, a 50% reduction in blithering, and a removal of the sudden halts in conversation left by the words that amphetamine tends to temporarily steal¹ for its own purposes. It goes away after a few weeks and then it becomes a useful medication.
This article should come with a warning for the neurotypicals not to try it.
¹: mine was ‘vulture’. Not often used, but I did have a context to use it and panicked, because the word was just gone, replaced with a black smoking hole with s circling above it. Thought I was losing my mind.
Um, yeah, the idea is for people who’ve been struggling with “what’s wrong with me” for their whole life to try this under medical supervision. Not to just go out and buy some meth.
I’m sort of nervous to read this. I’m currently awaiting an ADHD diagnostic appointment. After some very pronounced changes in the manifestation of my dyspraxia when my medication was switched to an SNRI, I’ve started to notice more and more indications that big parts of my impairments are much more strongly connected to attention than I’d ever previously considered. And I’m feeling sort of baffled that I could have gone on so long without considering whether ADHD was a factor, but simultaneously worried about confirmation bias and convincing myself of a diagnosis that may not be right, despite the strong indications from my GP screening in that direction. And I feel frustrated that it’s taken my practice months to conduct the screen and make the referral since I indicated that I thought ADHD was a possibility. And they only conducted the screening after I twisted the arm of my CBT therapist into recommending it. I’m fucking grateful for the NHS, but Jesus times are hard.
So I am now waiting and feeling hopeful for a diagnosis and treatment programme that helps me move forward with my life more easily, while simultaneously paranoid that maybe this is just my feckless, lazy self trying to get out of taking responsibility (while also understanding all the reasons why that is nonsense, but… it’s a complicated feeling).
So anyway I’ll read the article when I feel I can handle the hope!
I’ve been taking ADHD meds for almost 25 years, as a working journalist in print and broadcast and I sure didn’t have all the drama this guy does. Millions of people read and watched my work. He played a video game demo and wrote about it. Hmmm, white guy takes legal drug and merriment ensues.
My partner was diagnosed 5 months ago and has been kind of crushed that they haven’t had this experience with any of the meds they’ve tried to far. All they’ve gotten is sleep deprivation and stomach cramps. After hearing countless stories of how immediately life-changing ADHD meds are, it’s been rough. I’m glad it went so well for this guy, though.
There’s not that much to this, it seems like, but it’s interesting to see all those edges blurred–a person doing their job by playing a video game that is a simulation of a job, while taking a medication that you’re only supposed to take to be more productive but that people persist in seeing as recreational. I… can hyperfocus on a few things, sometimes, but one of the things I didn’t realize was such a problem until I had meds was that I struggle normally to make it through five solid minutes of a TV show.
I think one of the major life improvements that came out of it was being able to better enjoy my leisure time, but I’ve had psychiatrists to whom I wouldn’t even mention that fact, because they would have considered it frivolous.
“And most of all, I can choose what to think about.“
Okay maybe I’m an adult lady with undiagnosed ADHD, because this is an UNFATHOMABLE feeling.
Eh, not really. And this is one of the persistent myths about ADHD (probably because it’s the symptom that affects other people the most). Sure, I get more done when I’m on my meds, but the biggest relief I get is being free from the constant racing thoughts and ruminations. Being able to, yep, choose what you think about, instead of your thoughts being a TV flipping through channels and no one will give you the remote. It’s miserable, and I wish I had learned that not everyone is living like that much earlier in life (I was diagnosed at 41).
I find this a slightly troubling response. Many people are marginalised by disability despite gender and racial privilege. It is absolutely the case that intersectional oppression exacerbates the effects of ableism, but intersectionality also requires us to recognise our points of commonality as members of marginalised groups. I’m glad that appropriate treatment for your disability has been a significant part of your life, but it seems a little mean-spirited to begrudge someone their desire to talk about the effects of that treatment when they finally receive it for their disability.
Disclaimer: I’m a cis het white middle class man, legal stimulants have vastly improved my life, and if you’re not interested in that perspective I’ll take no offense if you skip to the next comment.
In my experience (diagnosed with ADHD in mid-30’s, now taking stimulant medication), it’s about
much more than being productive.
I’m a better husband – I can truly listen to my spouse without my attention wandering a couple of times a minute. I can clean things up as I go instead of leaving a trail of mess behind me for them to either nag me about or (more likely) sigh and deal with it for me. I’m a better friend – I can keep track of appointments and commitments and show up on time. I can cook garlic bread for company because I’m confident I can maintain my attention long enough not to burn it. I can fall asleep at night without a hurricane of whirling thoughts keeping me awake.
Certainly it’s helped at work too – but the benefit to me isn’t that I’m getting more units of work done and maximizing my creation of value for the shareholders. It’s that I’m no longer the coworker that everyone knows can’t be depended on, so don’t ask him for anything important. Being that person, knowing you’re that person, and having no way to stop being that person is
. In my case, the chronic crushing depression variety of awful.
One of the times I was prescribed ADHD medication was to help with the recovery from my post-concussion syndrome (you can’t rest a whirring brain). All the times I’ve been prescribed it were while I didn’t have a paying job. I’ve never felt any “now go get to work” pressure from my doctors. If you’re getting that attitude from yours, you might want to see a new person.