Adderall est-il le véritable «médicament de passerelle»?

Adderall est-il le véritable «médicament de passerelle»?

augustus 19, 2020 0 Door admin


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When Alex was prescribed the psychostimulant Adderall in 2011 while studying for the grueling Chartered Financial Analyst (CFA) exam, he never imagined it would lead to him jumping from a 20-foot bridge and shattering his leg while fleeing an Airbnb scam gone wrong. 

Adderall is prescribed to treat Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD), a neurobehavioral condition predominantly diagnosed in white or otherwise affluent children, marked by inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity that was first included in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders in 1987. There aren’t clear-cut boundaries to the condition, so determining who to treat becomes fuzzy; some doctors insist there is no definitive measure for ADHD, others require extensive neuropsychological testing. Such tests, however, are time-consuming and not always covered by insurance, so an increasing number of unscrupulous physicians are willing to write a prescription for Adderall after a brief interview, often only relying on the Conners Clinical Index Test, a series of 25 questions that can easily be manipulated by anyone seeking a prescription, like Alex, who believed it essential for his studies.

Four years later, Alex had switched from 60 milligrams of Adderall a day to smoking crystal methamphetamine, a far more potent amphetamine that’s virtually indistinguishable to the brain. If opiate painkillers are small doses of heroin in a pill, Adderall is a small dose of crystal meth, and the transition was seamless. “Long-term Adderall use created a body condition in me where I could control the meth,” says Alex, a pseudonym. 

Until he couldn’t.

In February 2017, the then 34-year-old Navy brat purchased someone’s Airbnb login information on the Dark Web for $2.50 in Bitcoin, and booked a luxury unit at the Mosaic Apartments and Condominiums in Houston. It was the latest in an 18-month string of credit-card force authorization scams he committed with a gang of enterprising, tweaked-out meth heads, including fraudulent purchases of dozens of iPhones, joy rides in luxury cars and flights to Vegas on a Gulfstream G650 while snacking on chicken cordon bleu and Dom Perignon. Alex didn’t book the Airbnb with the intention of ripping off the owner, but when he stepped into the bathroom and discovered an unlocked closet filled with laptops, golf clubs and an authentic Air Force Two jacket, he said, “Fuck it, we’re taking this.”

A cadence of authoritative knocks on the door interrupted the plunder, however. Alex reminded everyone to remember the alibi and prepared to open the door, but before he could, the owner burst in, phone raised to record everything. Hector, Alex’s accomplice and also a pseudonym, instinctively knocked him to the ground and sprinted out of the apartment, with Alex chasing close behind. Rather than wait for the elevator, bolstered by amphetamines and feeling “bionic,” Alex instead leapt down the stairwell and into a parking garage. Looking left, then right, he spotted a small bridge that appeared to be about eight feet above the ground. In reality, it was more like 20 — a two-story drop — and he recalls the sensation of his hand brushing against the side of the concrete wall lasting “way longer than it should have.” 

Then, everything went black. He attempted to stand, but a searing pain sent him to the ground as he glanced at his broken left leg, its foot dangling in the wrong direction. 

“There he is!” Houston’s finest shouted from above. 

It’s over, Alex thought. It’s finally all over.

Alex, photographed by the Airbnb owner following Alexs fall. He was proud to have received it after he apologized to the owner for the havoc hed brought upon his home.

While obviously not directly responsible for Alex’s felonious shopping spree, for him, Adderall paved a perilous path toward drug addiction. It’s a common progression according to addiction experts. “For so long, people have talked about marijuana as a gateway drug, but Adderall is even more of one now,” says Mark Shandrow of Asana Recovery in Southern California. “Many of our younger clients’ stories begin with a psychological dependence on Adderall,” agrees Matthew Kinoshita, clinical director at True Recovery in Newport Beach. “Which often leads to alcohol abuse, cocaine abuse and crystal meth addiction. The unwarranted confidence is fascinating. They feel like Superman.” 

Adderall and medications like it — e.g., Ritalin, Vyvanse, Strattera, Dexedrine — treat ADHD by boosting levels of dopamine and norepinephrine in the brain to impact arousal, attentiveness and assurance. The amphetamine stimulants have a paradoxical effect for those with ADHD, explains adolescent psychologist Liz Jorgensen, calming their minds and reducing impulsive behavior. But for those who don’t have ADHD, Adderall overflows the brain with dopamine, causing euphoria and overconfidence. “Your ego tells you that you’re the smartest person that’s ever lived,” she says. 

I definitely can offer some firsthand experience in this regard. As a young writer, I was hired to adapt a comic book series about lawyers representing supernatural clients into a TV show. Fearing I couldn’t meet the deadline, I consulted a life coach to work on time management. After two sessions, she recommended Adderall and wrote a note to my physician saying as much. To be clear, I don’t have ADHD and was never screened for the condition. Nevertheless, I was prescribed 60 milligrams of Adderall XR (“extended release,” as opposed to IR, or “immediate release”) a day. 

The immediate results were undeniably positive. Weeks before the deadline, I submitted multiple versions of a Moonlighting-inspired one-hour pilot, along with season-long arcs for the legal duo and their clients, some of whom I imagined to be supernatural wife beaters, sex traffickers and rapists. I was promptly fired and castigated by the author for turning his wholesome protagonists into egomaniacal sociopaths. You put them all on speed, dude!!!” Jorgensen explains. 

The explosion of ADHD diagnoses and subsequent prescriptions for stimulants in the late 1990s coincided with a successful two-decade campaign by pharmaceutical companies to publicize the condition. In the late 1990s, the FDA allowed the advertising of controlled substances directly to consumers, and pharmaceutical companies jumped at the opportunity to market medication to treat ADHD, explains Alan Schwarz in A.D.H.D. Nation: Children, Doctors, Big Pharma and the Making of an American Epidemic. At that time, one in seven high school students in the U.S. had been told they had ADHD, Schwarz says, and experts worried parents were being pressured by pharmaceutical marketing campaigns to act.

Aaron Kesselheim, a Harvard professor who studies pharmaceutical marketing and ethics, shared with Schwarz what makes ADHD ads so effective: “You see a perfectly balanced child who is both academically and athletically gifted, with words like ‘potential’ jumping out at you, and neurons in the background to look like there is some science behind it. Quotations play on common fears and concerns that parents have about their children — they’re not socialized enough, they’re not doing their homework. But there really aren’t many 8-year-olds who look forward to doing their homework.” 

“The ads played on parents’ concerns that sometimes their kids could be monsters,” Kesselheim continues, “and you want to be interacting with that lovable kid inside rather than the monster that your 8-year-old son can sometimes be.”

But the ads made no reference to potentially lifelong psychological consequences, as described by Jean Piacenza, a family therapist and licensed clinical social worker with 25 years’ experience treating ADHD. “My concern is the learned helplessness,” she tells me. “I always hear, ‘I can’t do it if I don’t take my meds.’ There’s a sense of not having agency over your own thinking until, or unless, you’ve taken your meds. That’s destructive and dangerous.“

A dose of amphetamine will make anyone more deliberate and methodical in what they’re doing — whether it’s separating laundry or variables in a quadratic equation, explains behavioral pediatrician Lawrence Diller, among the first to speak out against the country’s mass diagnoses of ADHD in a 1998 cautionary book, Running on Ritalin: A Physician Reflects on Children, Society and Performance in a Pill. In it, Diller investigated the explosion of ADHD diagnoses and prescribed stimulants, which he partially attributed to a declining standard of living in the U.S. since the 1970s. “Any performance enhancer is going to be attractive,” he tells me. “By cloaking it in something as ambiguous as ADHD, drug companies took the ball and ran with it.” 

In fairness, academia handed it to them. Namely, Harvard psychiatrist Edward Hallowell, the world’s leading expert on ADHD, whose groundbreaking 1995 book, Driven to Distraction: Recognizing and Coping with Attention Deficit Disorder from Childhood Through Adulthood has served as a quasi ADD bible ever since. “I was trying to call people’s attention to a virtually unknown, unrecognized and misunderstood syndrome,” Hallowell tells me. “No one had heard of ADD, so I wanted to demystify and de-stigmatize it as the fascinating condition that it is: a race car brain with bicycle brakes. If you don’t strengthen the brakes, you can crash and burn. But if you do, you can become a champion.” 

Again, many of the symptoms could describe a typical child, particularly one growing up with heightened technology, yet the overwhelming impulse was to fix the kid instead of the culture he or she was raised in. Jorgensen, an adolescent psychologist with more than 30 years experience, remembers the onslaught of clients looking to medicate their hyperactive children. “Dr. Hallowell was regularly on Oprah, Good Morning America and The Today Show, warning parents about the train wreck of untreated ADHD approaching,” she recalls. 

Not surprisingly, Hallowell disagrees and fiercely defends his work today. “Russell Barkley, one of the great researchers in the field, concluded that due to everything that happens to people with untreated ADHD — drug addiction, gambling addiction, sex addiction, unemployment, accident prone, multiple divorces — an average of 13 years are wiped off your life, more than cigarette smoking,” he argues. 

There’s no denying, however, that the use of “study drugs” has exploded ever since. From 2002 to 2012, the manufacturing of prescription stimulants increased by a whopping 9 million percent. And by 2018, 16 million American adults used the medication, with 5 million misusing it and 400,000 having a stimulant use disorder. “The number is much higher today,” Diller says. 

That said, for people who say they struggle with bad cases of ADHD, the drugs are a lifesaver — not something that puts them in jeopardy. It’s not dissimilar to a person with diabetes needing to take insulin,” explains Kyle, a 39-year-old marketing director in San Francisco. (Like with all the others who use ADHD medication in this piece, Kyle is a pseudonym to protect his anonymity.) A better analogy, Hallowell says, is nearsightedness — i.e., patients do much better with glasses than without them, and ADHD patients do much better with stimulant medication than without. 

Douglas, a screenwriter in L.A. with ADHD, has taken 60 milligrams of Adderall as directed for 15 years and says he wouldn’t have a career without it because he’d never finish anything. Attentional ability is on a spectrum, confirms neuroscientist Anjan Chatterjee, and those at the farthest ends of distractibility require stimulants to function. “It’s unfair to these people that Adderall has become stigmatized,” he tells me. 

The stigma was almost entirely born from the ubiquity of ADHD medication on college campuses over the past 20 years. “It’s everywhere,” reports Chris, a 24-year-old chemical engineering graduate student who regularly sees people snorting lines of crushed Adderall off desks in the Science and Engineering Library. “There’s so much competition to ace the test, get into grad school, land a job, whatever it is. If you know everyone else is taking Adderall, you think, Fuck, I need to be on the same level. It’s just part of the college lifestyle.” 

And yet, if drugs are taken in double and triple doses, the psychological effects of stimulants rise dramatically, Schwarz explains. “So to hand Adderall out to any college undergrad who says he’s having trouble is to abet disaster, particularly among a population notorious for experimenting with mind-altering substances.” Still, he points out, the first article about college students abusing amphetamines to study was in Time magazine in 1937. “This ain’t new,” he says.

The original amphetamine epidemic in the U.S. from the 1940s through the 1960s was likewise generated by the pharmaceutical industry as a byproduct of commercial drug development and competition. Searching for a decongestant and bronchodilator to substitute for ephedrine, in 1929, biochemist Gordon Alles discovered the physiological activity of beta-phenylisopropylamine, soon to be known as amphetamine. “He took quite a big dose, 50 milligrams, before he gave it to patients,” explains Nicolas Rasmussen, a professor at the University of New South Wales and an expert on the history of drug abuse and pharmaceuticals in the U.S. since 1900. Shortly after, Alles wrote in his notebook he had “a feeling of wellbeing” and his thoughts seemed to be quicker. “There’s really nothing fundamentally new about Adderall over Alles’ discovery,” Rasmussen tells me.

Alles’ Benzedrine inhaler 

Two years later, the American pharmaceutical company Smith, Kline & French announced it was releasing Alles’ new drug as the Benzedrine inhaler, a volatile 300-milligram amphetamine base in a tube. Vapors would cause the nasal mucosa to shrink and relieve congestion, but if you just wanted to get high, the bottom of the tube could be unscrewed and the wad of amphetamine dropped in a cup of hot coffee or Coke. The inhaler was ubiquitous, available in most gas stations and five-and-ten-cent stores as an over-the-counter cold remedy, and became a staple of bebop jazz culture — beat writers like Jack Kerouac fashioned their writing style after the spontaneous rush of sound it often inspired. Truck drivers, prisoners and World War II pilots were likewise drawn to Benzedrine for the same reason: quicker thoughts and Alles’ “feeling of wellbeing.” 

By the early 1960s, legions of middle-aged, middle-class patients received low-dose prescriptions from family doctors to help them cope with their daily “duties,” resulting in a quasi-medical amphetamine gray market. To help maintain his youthful vigor, JFK received regular injections containing 15 milligrams of methamphetamine from German-trained physician Max Jacobson, nicknamed “Doctor Feelgood,” who also treated Cecil B. DeMille, Truman Capote, Tennessee Williams and the Rolling Stones. 

But concern mounted about widespread amphetamine abuse, and in 1969, a congressional hearing was devoted to the theme, “Crime in America — Why 8 Billion Amphetamines?” The legislation that emerged, the 1970 Comprehensive Drug Abuse Prevention and Control Act, established the modern set of controlled substance schedules. “When a drug is treated as a virtually harmless legal medicine, it’s difficult to make a convincing case that the same drug is terribly harmful if used nonmedically,” Rasmussen concludes. “This is what happened in the 1960s, and is presumably happening again today.”

Chris, for example, a 24-year-old in the Mid-Atlantic, began taking Ritalin in high school and continued throughout college, which he calls the most successful years of his life. “I felt like fucking Albert Einstein and could solve any differential equation and calculus problem in a heartbeat,” he says with glee. To obtain a prescription, Chris Googled symptoms for ADHD and recited them to his doctor. “I bullshitted, and it spiraled from there,” he says. The doctor allowed him to titrate his dose, beginning with 10 milligrams a day, then 20 and eventually working up to 50. 

Christy, a 31-year-old copy director in New York, has been taking Adderall daily since 2009 and recalls a similarly questionable diagnostic process that included rating statements like “I have difficulty with task completion,” and “I often walk away from my workspace,” which she knew exactly how to answer if she wanted a prescription. “The doctor barely looked at me, and after four minutes, wrote a prescription for 40 milligrams of Adderall XR daily.” 

A decade before Alex shattered his leg beneath a luxury apartment building in Houston, he was an ambitious pre-med student at a liberal arts university struggling to keep up. He couldn’t understand how everyone in the library was able to just sit there, for hours, studying. He switched majors to business, figuring it would be easier, but the real revelation came sophomore year when a study partner gave him a 20-milligram tablet of Adderall IR. “It was such a profound moment,” he recalls, his voice growing softer. “I was like, This is how they do it. 

Soon, Alex, too, was rating statements like, “I have trouble completing tasks that need to get done,” on a 10-point scale. The doctor explained that Alex had scored a 26 on the test, and “anything over a 20 is ADHD.” He wrote a prescription for 60 milligrams of Adderall per day, despite 30 milligrams a day being the most Alex had ever taken before. The price: $17 for a three-month supply, with insurance. “I was like, Holy shit! Score!!! he tells me.

“When I was in school in the 1970s, people did drugs to check out. Now, they’re doing drugs to check in,” Chatterjee says, noting heightened competition to be the primary distinction, with people feeling a need to be cognitively enhanced just to keep up. John, for example, an economics major at Columbia University, justified his Adderall use to the New York Times in 2005, explaining, “If you don’t take them, you’ll be at a disadvantage to everyone else.” 

Asked if he thinks a student who is not diagnosed with ADHD should have access to psychostimulants to improve performance, Hallowell, the ADHD OG, is conflicted. “You can’t, because it’s against the rules. Do I think the rules are fair? No, because many people who do better on stimulant medication don’t have ADHD.”

Upon graduating, Alex was hired by a Fortune 500 company in Texas, one of the most reputable wealth-management organizations in the country. He used Adderall to study and easily pass the Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards exam before setting his sights on the more challenging and demanding CFA qualification. The goal not only justified Adderall, he says, but demanded it. 

Every morning when his alarm went off at 5:30 a.m., he would immediately pop 30 milligrams and smoke weed to stimulate his appetite so he wouldn’t be tweaked out by noon on an empty stomach. The weed/speed combo also served to pump him up before daily morning study sessions. “I would drive to work blasting Eminem, thinking, I’m about to go kill this exam.” In the office cafeteria, over scrambled eggs and bacon, he silently studied with another young advisor in his group, Daniel, who wasn’t medicated.

“I envied the fuck out of him,” Alex says. “I wanted so bad to be capable de rester assis là sans l’aide de drogues et d’étudier comme il l’a fait. Il en est maintenant à sa 15e année dans la même entreprise, dans un rôle de rêve que nous aspirions tous les deux à obtenir à l’époque. Probablement un millionnaire. »

À 8h30, alors que le premier missile orange pâle commençait à pétiller, Alex prendrait encore 30 milligrammes avant d’en informer clients fortunés sur leurs problèmes financiers. Les dirigeants du secteur pétrolier et gazier lui ont demandé conseil; les promotions étaient de routine. Enchantée par les séances d’étude matinales et les critiques élogieuses des clients, la direction a vu Alex comme un fonceur intelligent. En deux ans, il a quadruplé son salaire d’entrée de 42 000 dollars.

«Une grande partie de l’histoire stimulante est ce que les gens utilisent pour descendre d’eux», dit Alex. “J’ai bu un ton d’alcool.” La bretelle de sortie commençait peu après le déjeuner dans une salle de bain privée à 15 minutes de son bureau, où il pouvait renifler des lignes de OxyContin , qui a annulé la redoutable chute du stimulant. Alex flotta joyeusement dans le bureau pour le reste de l’après-midi, aidant ses collègues et les faisant rire. Sur le chemin du retour, il avait claqué une bouteille de Crown Royal à 15 $, suivie de trois ou quatre bières et d’un nuage perpétuel de marijuana. S’il avait pris trop d’Adderall, il ajouterait 200 milligrammes de somnifères en vente libre au mélange pour attraper quelques Z.

Les professionnels du rétablissement disent que les personnes ayant des problèmes d’Adderall présentent souvent des dépendances «déprimantes» utilisées pour compenser les médicaments. “Dans cette ligne de travail, vous devez toujours lire entre les lignes”, déclare Michael Ahearn , un entraîneur de récupération au centre de traitement de Mountainside dans le Connecticut et un expert de la toxicomanie chez la génération Y. «Chaque fois que quelqu’un présente un problème d’alcool, je recherche toujours des antécédents d’utilisation de stimulants. Surtout au sein de la génération Y, car nous avons été élevés avec l’idée qu’il existe une pilule pour ce que vous ressentez. Nous sommes une génération extrêmement médicamenteuse. “

Brook McKenzie , directeur des admissions chez New Method Wellness dans le sud de la Californie et lui-même accro à Adderall en convalescence, dit son favori downer était cinq casquettes de NyQuil . Pour beaucoup d’autres, il s’agit de benzodiazépines comme le Xanax ou de médicaments sur ordonnance comme Lunesta . Mais Adderall et l’alcool est le couple le plus courant, dit McKenzie, car les deux sont plus ou moins légaux. “Beaucoup rationalisent ces substances dans leur vie plus facilement parce qu’elles n’ont pas le surnom de stupéfiant illégal d’un cartel, elles sont donc un peu plus acceptables.”

Une autre caractéristique potentiellement mortelle des stimulants est une capacité accrue à consommer de grandes quantités d’alcool sans se sentir enivré, dit Jorgensen. «Il y a de nombreuses raisons hépatiques complexes pour lesquelles les gens ont tendance à s’endormir lorsqu’ils boivent trop, mais tout cela est hors de propos lorsque vous prenez des stimulants. Et c’est extrêmement dangereux. »

Une personne sur sept entrant dans la nouvelle méthode de bien-être a reçu de l’Adderall, dit McKenzie, et pour les clients de moins de 24 ans, trois sur sept. Mais peu, voire aucun, mentionnent un trouble d’abus d’Adderall. «Si quelqu’un participe à des programmes en 12 étapes basés sur l’abstinence, comme les Alcooliques anonymes, est-il en mesure de lever la main et de prétendre être sobre pendant 90 jours s’il a pris 90 milligrammes d’Adderall chaque jour?» il se demande. La semaine dernière, un client a obtenu son diplôme après 45 jours et a appelé McKenzie, expliquant qu’il s’était enregistré auprès d’Adderall et espérait pouvoir le lui renvoyer. «C’est la substance la plus difficile à surmonter pour les clients, car elle est psychologique dépendance en plus de la physique», dit McKenzie.

Dépendant ou non, Alex se sentait comme «un gagnant tout autour» au travail, dépassant constamment les attentes de la direction. Il a réussi l’examen CFA et a été transféré à Houston pour ouvrir un nouveau bureau, mais la consommation d’Adderall a persisté malgré un temps libre «obscène» sans rien à étudier. Alors il finirait son travail avant midi et se dirigerait vers le club de strip-tease pour le déjeuner. Une fois, en cherchant dans sa poche, quelques pilules sont tombées sur le sol. La strip-teaseuse lui lança un regard entendu et lui demanda s’il aimait la vitesse. Alex hocha la tête. «Et la glace?» demanda-t-elle ensuite, le convoquant à sa voiture.

Alex se souvient du premier coup comme étant similaire à Adderall, mais beaucoup plus fort. “Stable et cohérent, comme des injections ininterrompues de dopamine dans le cerveau.” Au cours d’une année, la dépendance au crystal meth a lentement consumé sa carrière, son mariage et tout ce qui lui tenait à cœur. Il a finalement divorcé et quitté son travail, se disant qu’il trouverait autre chose mais qu’il avait vraiment l’intention de se défoncer. Il a ouvert une salle de jeux souterraine dans le sud de Houston (c’est-à-dire un petit salon rempli de machines à sous électroniques populaires auprès des utilisateurs de crystal meth car il est ouvert 24h / 24 et 7j / 7.) Il a commencé à vendre de la méthamphétamine pour soutenir son habitude, et ce faisant , a rencontré Hector et ses associés qui planifiaient leur prochaine escroquerie d’autorisation par carte de crédit et leur a demandé s’il pouvait offrir des conseils financiers.

Quant à moi, j’ai été tenté au fil des ans de donner une autre chance à Adderall, en particulier lorsque je me retrouve face à une quantité de travail apparemment insurmontable qui nécessite la version la plus intelligente de moi-même pour terminer. Mais ensuite, j’ai découvert que les stimulants ne vous rendent pas vraiment plus intelligent, ils vous font simplement penser que vous l’êtes. “ Nous ne devrions pas parler d’Adderall comme d’une” pilule intelligente “, mais plutôt d’une” pilule de conduite “qui renforce la motivation à assumer des tâches autrement banales”, déclare Chatterjee, qui a mené une étude avec son collègue de l’Université de Pennsylvanie Martha Farah d’étudiants prenant des stimulants ou un placebo. Ils n’ont trouvé aucune différence significative entre Adderall et placebo, à l’exception d’une question: “Pensez-vous que la pilule que vous avez prise aujourd’hui a amélioré votre cognition?”

Le la perception que vous faites mieux dans vos tâches est vraiment la seule contribution à l’amélioration des performances. C’est une dépendance à l’aspiration; les gens sentent qu’ils vont mieux et, par conséquent, exécutent au moins un petit mieux en réalité, mais pas aussi bien qu’ils le pensent. “Je suppose que la question est de savoir ce qui est perdu si nous étions tous dans un monde Adderall”, affirme Wendy Brown , théoricienne politique à l’Université de Californie, Berkeley. «Ce que nous pourrions dire est perdu, c’est ce que nous faisons lorsque nous réfléchissons et laissons nos pensées vagabonder. De cela sortent la créativité, l’art, la douleur et le chagrin intenses et des moments extraordinaires de connexion. Je les décrirais comme l’expérience d’être humain lui-même. »

« C’est absurde », dit Hallowell. “Les médicaments [ TDAH] devraient vous changer autant et pas plus que les lunettes – meilleure concentration, mieux planifier, plus accès au sens de l’humour et à la créativité parce que vous pouvez l’organiser et le planifier. “

Mais cela change sans aucun doute d’humeur, je rétorque, citant deux personnes que j’ai interviewées qui utiliser le médicament exclusivement dans des situations sociales. Hallowell, cependant, insiste sur le fait que le seul élément altérant l’humeur du médicament est lié à la dépression. «Très souvent, la dépression et l’anxiété font partie du TDAH, et la plupart du temps, elles sont liées à des sous-performances, ce qui est décevant. Lorsque vous vous concentrez, votre performance augmente, donc ce qui semblait être une dépression disparaît. Cela ne modifie pas l’humeur. Il s’agit d’un ajustement approprié de la tonalité de vos émotions par rapport à l’amélioration des performances et à la réduction de l’anxiété. »

Pour certains accros d’Adderall, la question de ce qui est perdu est cependant plus fondamentale. Mon habitude de stimulant s’est transformée en une véritable dépendance à la cocaïne par voie intraveineuse, conduisant à un traumatisme crânien qui a laissé des déficits cognitifs et physiques permanents. J’ai respecté beaucoup de délais, bien sûr, mais cela n’en valait pas la peine.

C’est évidemment la même chose pour Alex. Les pompiers de Houston ont dû abaisser une grue dans le bayou pour le récupérer. Il a ensuite été menotté à une civière et transféré à l’hôpital, où il a passé trois jours à subir une intervention chirurgicale, un flic de Houston en uniforme dans la chambre à tout moment. Après avoir passé six mois en prison, il a été fauché et endetté, dû à l’IRS environ 40 000 $ en raison d’un encaissement anticipé de 200 000 401 000 $.

“Peut-être qu’il aurait été préférable pour moi de ne pas avoir accès à la finance et d’être contraint à une profession plus épanouissante qui correspond mieux à ma personnalité”, dit-il maintenant avec le recul. “Quelque chose de plus créatif, peut-être.”

C’est une musique pour les oreilles de Diller, qui garde un jouet de tri pour enfants dans son bureau avec un triangle, un cercle et un carré et les chevilles correspondantes. «Je dis aux adolescents et à leurs parents:« Vous êtes cette pyramide et vous essayez de vous intégrer dans un trou éducatif carré, ce qui fait mal! Il y a deux autres trous ici. Pourquoi n’essayez-vous pas le cercle? Pourquoi êtes-vous à Harvard si vous devez utiliser Adderall? »

Pour le moment, Alex prend les choses un jour à la fois, comme on dit, vivant avec ses parents . C’est un homme de 38 ans avec un casier judiciaire et marche en boitant, se rappelant quotidiennement tout ce qu’il a perdu. Il souhaiterait rencontrer plus d’histoires de personnes qui se sont écrasées et échouent comme il l’a fait sur Adderall, alors il a créé pour partager une certaine expérience, force et espoir.

M plus que n’importe quel médicament d’ordonnance, il blâme la société occidentale pour sa dépendance aux stimulants et un barrage constant de films, de musique et de publicités assimilant l’argent à bonheur. Ou comme il l’a dit: «J’ai eu beaucoup d’argent et j’avais toujours ce vide étrange, malgré le fait que j’avale une pilule pour entraîner mon attention inébranlable sur le matérialisme et la surabondance. C’est la manière américaine, et c’est dangereux. »

C. Brian Smith

C. Brian Smith écrit des longs métrages de gonzo percutants pour MEL, qu’il s’agisse de s’entraîner avec un entraîneur de masturbation, de recevoir un traitement psycho-corporel d’un thérapeute de la fessée ou de se lancer dans une croisière de plaisir d’une semaine avec 75 Santa Clauses après leur saison chargée. P >

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